Daisy DO NOTS

Daisy Duke, I scold you . You rocked those cut-off jean shorts like it was nobody's business and have now led many people across the world to believe they can pull them off as well. Folks, this is not a drill: the "jort" epidemic has struck the U.S.
This trend, unfortunately, has a hit a new extreme. Both men and women are sporting the "I-tried-turning-jeans-into-shorts-and-now-look-like-white-trash" look. I'll start with the women...

Okay, Daisy Duke was a babe and she wore those shorts like no other. Listen, girls, not all of you are Daisy Duke. In fact, I really don't feel like any of you are nearly as cool as her, so let's stop pretending, okay? This situation can just got so wrong in so many ways. First of all, nobody wants to see your pockets. It just looks stupid; it looks like you safety pinned socks on your already-ugly shorts. AND, if your pockets are always hanging out, you can't hide secret stuff, like candy or the pen you stole from Chile's, in them.
Also, I don't like seeing buttcheeks. It's just really not my thing. First of all, ya look trashy. Second of all, I'm probably really jealous of you and seeing your perfectly toned asscheeks reminds me of the spin class I decided not to go to yesterday. Either way, don't do it. I don't want to see it. You look like trash.

NOW, "jorts" reach a whole new level of embarrassment and unattractiveness when worn by those with an XY chromosome. Yeah, that's right. Fellas, you gotta stop wearing the cutoffs. I've noticed this is mostly done by those who are into their late 40s-early 50s, but age is no excuse. It's a new generation guys, and cut-offs are out. Done. No longer attractive. Adios.