Trends: Special Edition

I've noticed one trend that is extremely common here at FSU. I can't say whether it's as common among all college campuses, but something tells me it is. This trend, this look that girls seem to rock every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning is unparalleled to any other trend I've observed. Curious, aren't ya? The look is that of the WALK OF SHAME.
I know, I'm not sure if this really follows the trend pattern I've been analyzing, but it is far to common to pass up. What's that? You're not sure what look I'm talking about? Lemme explain...

The "Walk of Shame" look can include a variety of styles and colors, but it must include the following aspects.
1. Must be worn between the hours of 10:00 AM and 1:00 PM on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday morning.

2. Must include the entire outfit one wore the night before. This outfit usually consists of scandalous items that usually don't do their job of covering up body parts that should be covered. Hilarious.

3. Hair and makeup are vital to this trend. Hair must be tousled and/or look as if it were a rat's nest. Make-up is either non-existent or smeared across one's eyes.

4. A cell phone in hand is crucial. This allows the victim of the "walk of shame" to avoid any eye contact with passersby by pretending to be involved in an intense text conversation.


I love FSU for many reasons, one of them being its enormous amount of Walk of Shames. Sometimes, I wish I could just perch a lawnchair on Jefferson St. and watch. Dang. That's a good idea. I'm surprised I havn't thought of that earlier...


Please note I do not support any actions that are associated with the Walk of Shame. I just thrive on judging people and the good feelings I get from their bad decisions.

Stop It Before It Starts

Okay. This blog is strictly for safety purposes only. It seems that this particular trend hasn't caught fire yet, but I have a feeling that it might soon...
Shoulder pads. Nothing good can come out of these.
Unless you are on a football field, or unless you are Lady Gaga (who can where anything she wants because she is beyond awesome), you need to burn those suckers if you have them.


First of all, they are dangerous. You could poke someone's fricken eye out. Then there's the issues with a lawsuits, insurance, etc. Shoulder pads can really bring nothing good.
Also, if you want to wear these awful things, throw away any idea or dream that you were going to be a pirate. Parrots hate shoulder pads and they will not perch their pretty lil' selves upon them. Ain't gon' happen.
Yes, the shoulder pad trend is not very popular yet and it may seem as if I'm not taking them very seriously, but we really would have some serious issues on our hands if they snowballed into a part of our everyday attire. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Daisy DO NOTS

Daisy Duke, I scold you . You rocked those cut-off jean shorts like it was nobody's business and have now led many people across the world to believe they can pull them off as well. Folks, this is not a drill: the "jort" epidemic has struck the U.S.
This trend, unfortunately, has a hit a new extreme. Both men and women are sporting the "I-tried-turning-jeans-into-shorts-and-now-look-like-white-trash" look. I'll start with the women...

Okay, Daisy Duke was a babe and she wore those shorts like no other. Listen, girls, not all of you are Daisy Duke. In fact, I really don't feel like any of you are nearly as cool as her, so let's stop pretending, okay? This situation can just got so wrong in so many ways. First of all, nobody wants to see your pockets. It just looks stupid; it looks like you safety pinned socks on your already-ugly shorts. AND, if your pockets are always hanging out, you can't hide secret stuff, like candy or the pen you stole from Chile's, in them.
Also, I don't like seeing buttcheeks. It's just really not my thing. First of all, ya look trashy. Second of all, I'm probably really jealous of you and seeing your perfectly toned asscheeks reminds me of the spin class I decided not to go to yesterday. Either way, don't do it. I don't want to see it. You look like trash.

NOW, "jorts" reach a whole new level of embarrassment and unattractiveness when worn by those with an XY chromosome. Yeah, that's right. Fellas, you gotta stop wearing the cutoffs. I've noticed this is mostly done by those who are into their late 40s-early 50s, but age is no excuse. It's a new generation guys, and cut-offs are out. Done. No longer attractive. Adios.

Leggings Shmeggings

It was a day of rebirth: I had an epiphany regarding this trend of "leggings." My family and I were leaving for a road trip, so I decided I was going to go the comfy-route and wear a pair of leggings during the 20-hour drive. I was ready to roll, heading out the door, when my WONDERFUL brother says to me, "Uhh. Melissa, your ass is eating your pants." Wow, Matthew. I really don't feel like a complete heifer now.
This was a punch in the face for me. It was at that moment I realized that this whole leggings trend was, well, extremely selective. Fashion Rule #768: If Melissa Prunty can't pull it off, it just stupid. True fact. Google it.


<-- Talk about a Double Whammy, eh?
Leggings as pants + UGGs in the springtime. May the Lord help her.











Okay, seriously. This trend has limits, and those limits need to be acknowledged.

Leggings + Any sort of top that drops at least 3 inches below your ass = Acceptable.

Leggings + Cropped shirt = Unacceptable.
Leggings + Hot bod = Acceptable.

Leggings + Shirt + Lack of physical fitness = Ultra unacceptable.

Yes, that last one is a tad harsh, but like I said, this trend is selective. Ladies, not every crevice of your body has to be on display as you walk to the grocery store.
Also, due to the tightness of these suckers, once you hit that sunlight, they become completely see through. Listen, kudos to you for being "your own person," but I really had no intention to find out you don't like wearing underwear.

When worn correctly, leggings can really make you look like a dime. But, I feel they've been abused far too much for them to continue...
Moral of the Story: LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.

**It is important to note that I am extremely bitter about the fact I couldn't pull off leggings and I detest them for that reason. They suck.

UGH Boots

I have a really good idea. Let's wear some tight-ass shorts and a sweet, little blouse on this beautiful 70-degree day. Oh wait, I can't forget my UGG boots-- nothing screams beautiful summer weather like a nice pair of sheepskin-lined boots.

Come. On.

A few years ago, when this UGG trend first began, I'll admit, I was a fan. I thought they were the cutest thing. Throw on a pair of skinny jeans and a cute scarf-- the UGG-extravaganza had my support. But then, ladies across the nation decided to take this trend to the next level. I would like to make it clear that unless you live in an area where the temperature is below 45 degrees year-round, the UGG boots are strictly a SEASONAL trend. Honestly, look at the picture. I love the girl to death and I am a huge fan, but I am not about to follow any sort of trend that Britney Spears was rockin' during her little crazy phase. This really should have been a red flag to the UGG nation.
Listen, I am aware that UGGs are uber-cute and all your friends are wearing them. I am aware that spending $140 on a pair of shoes somehow makes you feel like you are superior than me and my Old Navy flip-flops. I am aware that you lack a backbone and will follow any sort of trend-trap society thrusts upon you. But, I urge you to accept my advice on the matter. As you walk across campus in these ridiculous shoes, I am behind you. Judging you. Pitying you. How about you ditch those UGGs for the next eight months, okay? Okay.

P.S. About those tight-ass shorts I mentioned earlier, you best bet that I'll be getting to those in another post.

Not cool. Buttcheek = no bueno.

Melissa Prunty Here...

Hello World Wide Web,
My name is Melissa Prunty. Am I a fashion expert? No. Do I know what the word "couture" means? Mmmm, not really. Do I have just a hint of common sense? Yes. Because of that sweet, sweet chunk of common sense the good Lord blessed me with, I feel like I am qualified to criticize, condemn, and complain about some of the ridiculous trends that people across the world believe are either attractive or cute. In fact, I feel as if it is my duty as an intelligent, caring individual to inform these ignorant people of the mistake they are making. I don't mean to come off as arrogant, but really people!? Somebody had to step up to the plate and confront this deadly issue, because girl, you're dressed to kill. And honey, that ain't no compliment.